Zen Complaining

A tough one to be sure but how to manage that whiny drone about the weather, your in-laws, the team that came in at the bottom and lost you $20? Let's start with the obvious - if you are griping about the $20 you probably shouldn't have wagered it to begin with. Like the old proverb, "grant the serenity to accept the things you cannot change...", there needs to come an awareness of what you can live with and what you can change.

To quote one of my favorite speakers, Wayne Dyer, "the traffic doesn't care, it will continue being traffic until it no longer is". No matter how much you rant and rave it just goes on being traffic and that's all there is to it. Same with the weather....no matter how much hair-pulling, you do, it won't change so why not turn your attention to the great song on the radio or the beautiful colors on the changing leaves outside your window. Exert your energies on the dilemmas that can bear a fruitful outcome.

For example, I belong to a Yahoo group that posts unwanted but usable items to be picked up by another member. (great group, more about that later). The group boasts over 4000 members and on any given day can send upwards of 50 emails to an already bulging inbox. Offered items are asked to be grouped together in one message to alleviate some of the this overflow. On one such weekend several member were not being very conscientious and my frustration got the better of me. I shot off a note to the moderators but, herein lies the difference...rather than just rant to the unpaid volunteers about their diligence and bellyache about the state of the group, I inquired two things. #1 - I asked if they could send out an email reminding members of the rules and #2 - I asked if they were short on help. It turned out that they were and took me up on my solicitation. In the end, I became the new list owner and have the option of sending out all the reminders I can muster.



Speak up when it can make a difference; complain when you can help solve the problem. Let all the rest slide quietly and serenely down your back.